What if 'Happily Ever After' started with the word '...mostly'?
Would you still strive for the 'somewhere at the end of the rainbow' with the same gumption if you knew the pot of gold at the end had lumps of coal in it as well? When all your wildest dreams come true, will you have the time to think about being low on milk? Or have to worry about electricity prices? Or the car breaking down? Or rain ruining your picnic?
Yes... Times like these will still weigh on our minds and make us feel powerless to try and stop losing control of any given situation. I'm sure it wouldn't matter if you had all the money/family/success in the world,
You WILL still cry on occasions, get furious, be frustrated, and feel you self worth dwindle.... but its in the down times that our will keep us moving. Moving forward, moving sideways, getting up from the couch, it doesn't really matter, as long as we're moving.
I know I feel motionless and numb when I hit rock bottom, and the s#it can pile up fast. I have no advice on how to deal with it when it hits the fan, but I do know I have to try to concentrate on what exactly keeps me moving. My family and the things I love, and why I cherish it all. Of course we can be happy with our accomplishments and relish in our successes, but only when we truly accept that any failures and disappointments in our lives are as much of a constant as the good things, only then will we start to be content. It takes hard work to be happy.
I have had people say to me lately "You're so lucky! Doing what you love every day" and yes, believe me when I say, I am the last one to forget that fact, but what happens when you have days when you don't absolutely adore doing what you love? What happens on a bad day in paradise?
Do you question your dreams?
Do you doubt your expectations on what you really want?
Yes! Why? Because you want to keep moving, you want to keep dreaming and hoping it will get better. Where was that disclaimer in the manual on life? Live your dreams! Happily/mostly or occasionally ever after.
Dont get me wrong, I want the fairytale, but the more I think about it, while trying not to pout my lips and stomp my foot, I realise I am loving the journey even more than the destination. Sometimes I have to tell myself that I AM enjoying it, even if I have to stop and get off at certain train stations to change trains, or go back for my bags.
Expectations are our worst enemies, but dreams and aspirations are the fillings in our pie, the chocolate peanuts in our cookies (yes Dave and Michelle Garber... That was a blatant hint for some of your home made goodness) The cream for our cake, the custard in our square... Okay, stop drooling, you get the idea... Our lives WOULD still exist if we didn't have them, true, albeit much more boring without them there to help drive us forward.
So, for now, I will keep my eyes on the horizon... For my feet already know how to walk straight, and if I do fall down, I will try to keep my chin up, to avoid it scraping on the ground.